1

French fans got their first peek at the delectably vulgar humor of Bette Midler when the Divine Miss M. played to audience at Paris' huge disco, The Palace. If the jokes didn't translate, the audience didn't seem to mind. Bosomy Bette's delivery - not to mention her get-ups - had the sophisticated Parisians all busted up.

2

IT'S FOR REAL that BETTE MIDLER did her act for free in the motel lounge in Cleveland. She was stranded overnight in a blizzard and wowed the guests!

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BETTE MIDLER Raps Rhymin' SIMON!
At last, at last.  Bette Midler -  the Divine - has consented to clear the mystery surrounding the alleged "feud' between her and Paul Simon. 

"That was a very strange event," reports Bette, "a very strange thing and to this day, I don't exactly know what happened. I don't re­member how I met Paul but we hit it off very well, became friends, went out a few times and he played me this song. He asked me to be on it with him; I said that would be fine. (But) Paul didn't like the track, I think, although he was probably too polite to say that he didn't. I stopped hearing from him. 

"Then, one day, the record came out but I wasn't on it! (Phoebe Snow was, however.) And there had been a certain amount of ad­vance publicity. I was very hurt; it took me a long time to get over it. In my inimitable fashion, I made a couple of scenes the next time I saw him - I was just awful. And Paul's a very private person and he doesn't like airing his dirty laundry in public. In fact, I venture to say that he doesn't like doing his laundry at all - 'OOOh! Did she really say that?' " 

Those present at Bette's "laun­dry" session assure us that Paul's probably hoping Bette will learn at least another one of his songs­ - The Sounds of Silence!

4

Bette Midler will re-emerge "on the scene: with a platter with Paul Simon. Wasn't she "fantastic: on Cher's first show? Elton John was jealous!!

5

BETTE MIDLER REFUSES TO "ROT"!
Forget inviting Bette Midler and Liza Minnelli to your next soiree. We have it on reliable authority the two aren't speaking - or won't be after Liza hears what Bette "joked" about in her re­cent series of nightclub engagements all over the country. "One of my favorite places in LA.," Bette told audiences, "is Tower Records, that huge record store. They have all these bins for these different kinds of music. But I'm always getting filed in the pits bin, my dears. You know, along with Vikki Carr! But you know what I do?? I just pick up all my albums and go plunk myself down beside Olivia New­ton-John. I'll be a (expletive de­leted) if I'm going to stay there & rot alongside Liza Minnelli!"

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BETTE MIDLER: "I think you should have laughs when you have sex. It can't be all thunder and lighting!"