Bette Midler - Bette on the Boards

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The Tonight Show
November 17, 1972

GUESTS

Terri Giasi, Gig Young, Bette Midler,
Joe Garagiola, Los Indios Trabajaras

PROGRAM TIME

11:30 p.m. to 1:00 a.m.

INTERVIEW TRANSCRIPT

This is the earliest footage of Bette Midler from The Tonight Show that still officially exists. Clips from this appearance have been shown numerous times in several documentary programs on television claiming it to be Bette's very first appearance on The Tonight Show in 1970, but in actuality it was her 15th appearance. The footage from this show is also stored in the archives at the Paley Center For Media in New York City and Los Angeles where it can be viewed.

A full copy of this footage has not yet been obtained by this site, however, thanks to a very dedicated fan and researcher, an audio recording from the broadcast was made available to the site. Although that recording can not be shared here on this website, below you will find a written transcript from the appearance documenting what was said and performed during this show.

Johnny Carson		I have a feeling Bette Midler is going to fit right into the horror of this show tonight. Ahh, she�s a very gifted young lady. I think she made one of her first appearances ever on television on this show. And this is her . . . is this your first album, dear?
Bette Midler		Yes. (off camera)
Johnny Carson		The first album on Atlantic called The Divine Miss M. Would you welcome Bette Midler.
Bette Midler		Hello in There (John Prine) We had an apartment in the city Me and my husband liked living there It's been years since the kids have grown A life of their own Left us alone John and Linda live in Omaha Joe is somewhere on the road We lost Davy in the Korean war I still don't know what for Don't matter any more You know that old trees just grow stronger And old rivers grow wilder every day But old people just grow lonesome Waiting for someone to say Hello in there Hello Now me and my husband We don't talk much anymore He sits and he stares through the backdoor screen Woah, and all the news just repeats itself Like some forgotten dream That we've both seen Someday I'm going to go and call up my friend Judy You know, you know we use to work together at the factory Ohhh, but what would I say when she asks what's new Say nothing, what's with you Nothing much to do You know that old trees just grow stronger And old rivers, they go grow wilder And wilder, and wilder every day But old people just grow lonesome Waiting for someone to say Hello in there Hello So if you're walking down the street sometime And you should spot some hollow ancient eyes Don't you pass them by and stare As if you didn't care Say, hello in there Hello
Johnny Carson		Alright, I'll do this and we'll be right back. Here's a message from Ed about Alpo.
		[COMMERCIAL BREAK]
Johnny Carson		Ahh, we�re back. If you just joined us, my guests are Gig Young and Bette Midler, and Joe Garagiola will join us and Los Indos Tabajaras. I've not seen you since, I guess since you were with me in . . .
Bette Midler		Lost wages.
Johnny Carson		You and me in Las Vegas, right.
Bette Midler		That's right
Johnny Carson		Things are going well?
Bette Midler		Oh yeah, I really picked up right after Las Vegas.
Johnny Carson		That's good.
Bette Midler		It did. It got much better. We did some concerts.
Johnny Carson		Where did you play? Carnegie Hall?
Bette Midler		Oh, you should of seen that! That was a hot one, that was hot!
Johnny Carson		That was a barnburner, huh?
Bette Midler		What?
Johnny Carson		A barnburner.
Bette Midler		Oh, you know it. Yes. Silver lam�, sequins, orchids. It was fabulous, it really was. I had a palm tree.
Johnny Carson		You wearing some more of those costumes?
Bette Midler		Oh honey, more clown suits you mean?
Johnny Carson		Well . . .
Bette Midler		Every night in Las Vegas I would leave the stage and John would come on and say, "when Emmett Kelly dies, that girl is going to come into some fabulous wardrobe." And the girl who was dressing me took a lot of offense. She said, "well, well, dish, dish!" She was furious.
Johnny Carson		A dish??
Bette Midler		She was highly insulted.
Johnny Carson		Well you do have a tendency to dress like a stolen car occasionally.
Bette Midler		Well, actually you see, I am dependent on the kindness of my friends. Yeah, I�ve been schlepping for so long. I never have any money.
Johnny Carson		You have money now. You could go out and buy yourself things.
Bette Midler		Darling, I don�t see any of it. You know it�s that old show business game.
Johnny Carson		Really?
Bette Midler		Yeah, it's the same old show business game. But I don't mind it because I'm having a really great time with all these fabulous people.
Johnny Carson		Money's not that important to you?
Bette Midler		Well, actually, it's hard when you get a little bit. Like when I moved into my new house I was really happy there for awhile.
Johnny Carson		Yeah.
Bette Midler		And I was going to take a vacation. I had a little money saved up in my little purse, you know, and I got robbed.
Johnny Carson		Awwww.
Bette Midler		That's just the way it always happens to me. Like I save up for something big and then I get the pie in the face, you know.
Johnny Carson		You didn't have it in a bank or anything?
Bette Midler		No, I was going on vacation the next day, you know.
Johnny Carson		Right.
Bette Midler		And I had cramps that night, you know. The night before that I was miserable. So I was up all night, and that morning I was trying to catch up on my sleep before I went away on vacation, you know. And I was asleep and this burglar came into my home, came in through my window and took my money.
Johnny Carson		While you were in bed?
Bette Midler		While I was in bed. It was fabulous. It was fabulous. I could not believe it. First of all I thought it was the superintendent. I've been in that building for a year and I have yet to lay eyes on the superintendent, honey. I have never seen him. So there I was, half, you know, just conked out and miserable from the pain. And I looked up and I saw this figure and I said, "Who is that? Who is that?" You know, in my stupor I thought it was the super, but it wasn't. He turned tail and he ran.
Johnny Carson		He didn't answer you at all?
Bette Midler		No, he was very quiet. He just ran right out. Took my money.
Johnny Carson		That's kind of scary though, isn't it?
Bette Midler		Well, I wasn't frightened at all. I was furious. That was my immediate reaction, just intense anger that that boy could have come in there and taken my money without me inviting him, you know.
Johnny Carson		That's the way people who rob places usually do it. They normally don't phone for an appointment and say, "I'll be there at nine, what'll you have?" I mean, what'd you expect him to do?
Bette Midler		Well, it's different when you get taken for a ride, you know. When you meet someone you're not sure of and you put some trust into them and they ruin you. That's different.
Johnny Carson		You're basically a very trusting person.
Bette Midler		Oh very, extremely. And very naive and innocent. Just a lamb in the wolfs den.
Johnny Carson		Well, you stay that way.
Bette Midler		I shall.
Johnny Carson		We'll be back after this word from Armour Butter Based Turkeys.
		[COMMERCIAL BREAK]
Johnny Carson		I asked Bette what she was going to sing for us, and you told me that you wanted to explain it.
Bette Midler		Yes.
Johnny Carson		What is there to explain about this song?
Bette Midler		I must explain.
Johnny Carson		This is a song that's been around for awhile.
Bette Midler		Well, to say the least, but I have to explain what I'm about to do to it, because you'll probably not recognize it once Miss M has sung it, until Miss M sings it. This song is what we call the Hubba Hubba. Now, Hubba Hubba is music that was sung in the forties, mostly by the girl groups like the Andrew Sisters. The Andrew Sisters, they were hot honey, they were hot.
Johnny Carson		Oh, I'm hip there.
Bette Midler		Oh, I'm telling you those girls could sing and dance.
Johnny Carson		I was there, you weren't.
Bette Midler		No, I saw movies though. Terrific, very much together.
Johnny Carson		Oh yes.
Bette Midler		They could raise their eyebrows in unison.
Johnny Carson		Yes.
Bette Midler		A marvel. Well anyway, now I would like to do for you what I call the Hubba Hubba. But you see when one does the Hubba Hubba what one has to do is not only all the notes the way they were sung, but you also have to do all the chorography. That means all the dance steps. Because those groups were very highly choreographed. I have been working on this number for a long time and I got to tell you that I always have a little trouble with it. You see because the right side of my body is terrific when I do it, you know, I got all those forties moves down, but the left side is just the pits, it just will not do anything. I just want you to be real kind, just be real kind and keep your eyes on divine. [BETTE WALKS OVER TO STAGE] Hello boys. The feeling of the song, the story of the song is that these three chicks from the south came up to New York City to make it big in showbiz, and they failed miserably. So they're going to go back home. They don't really care, you know, because they have someone waiting for them when they get there. So Marge, the lead singer, turns to the other girls and says, "Well girls ain't this the pits!" How do you like my southern accent? "Yeah, well what's the diff, here comes the train. Talk to me girls"
		Chattanooga Choo Choo (Mack Gordon / Harry Warren) Wooo-Wooo Wooo-Wooo Wooo-Wooo Wooo-Wooo Ah! Pardon me, boy Is that the Chattanooga choo choo? Track twenty-nine You can gimme a shine I can afford To board a Chattanooga choo choo I've got my fare What just a trifle to spare You leave the Pennsylvania Station 'bout a quarter to four Read a magazine and then you're in Baltimore Dinner on the diner Nothing could be finer Than to have your ham an' eggs in Carolina When you hear the whistle blowin' eight to the bar Then you know that Tennessee is not very far Shovel all the coal in Gotta keep it rollin' Whoa, Whoa, Chattanooga there you are (Bette scatting) There's gonna be A certain party at the station I'll be in satin and lace Used to call me funny face Oooo, I'm gonna cry I promise that I'll never, never roam Oh, Chattanooga choo choo Won't you choo-choo me home? Come on home You leave the Pennsylvania Station 'bout a quarter to four Read a magazine and then you're in Baltimore Dinner on the diner Nothing could be finer Than to have your ham an' eggs in Carolina When you hear the whistle blowin' eight to the bar Then you know that Tennessee is not very far Well shovel all the coal in Gotta keep it rollin' Whoa, Whoa, Chattanooga there you are (Bette scatting) I'm gonna cry but I won't I promise that I'll never, never roam Oh Chattanooga choo choo Oh Chattanooga choo choo Oh Chattanooga choo choo Won't you choo-choo me Ah-shhhh, ah-shhhh, ah-shhhh, ah-shhhh Ah-hot shhht, shhht, shhht, shhht, shhht, shhht Chattanooga choo choo Woah, Chattanooga choo choo Chattanooga choo choo Won't you choo-choo me home [BETTE WALKS BACK TO PANEL] Thank you! You're hot, you're hot!
Johnny Carson		You know, I said it before when you were first on this show, and I mean it. I said you are, you're going to be something to contend with, you're going to be a big star in this business, because you are unique and you're different
Bette Midler		Thank you, thank you. Keep trucking.
Johnny Carson		You are. You will. When it all comes together it'll happen.
Bette Midler		Oh, I can't wait.
Johnny Carson		Alrighty, well, you'll have to. Right now stay tuned for this message
Bette Midler		Oh, that was fun.

INTERESTING FACTS

By this time The Tonight Show had moved from New York to Los Angeles permanently. However, this particular show was shot in New York City while the show was there for a special limited engagement.

During his introduction of Bette Midler, Johnny Carson is holding a copy of Bette's first LP "The Divine Miss M."

Bette had a tendency of pushing the censors as far as they'd let her go during her early television appearances, from wearing revealing clothes to talking about ultra taboo subjects. During this particular show Bette not only talked about having her period (the cramps), but also got away with phonetically slipping in the phrase "hot shit" during the end of Chattanooga Choo Choo.

Bette Midler performed "Hello In There" with just Barry Manilow's piano accompaniment. Barry was silhouetted during the song, but upon conclusion of the performance, the house lights came up and Bette gestured towards Barry who then looked right at the audience and into the camera. This is the earliest known color footage of Barry Manilow.

Bette Midler's introduction card is the only guest's card that is missing in the Tonight Show paperwork for this episode. Perhaps there never was a card made up for Bette, and this is why Johnny's introduction of her during the show seems a bit uncertain.

In the February 15, 1973 issue of Rolling Stone Magazine, Ed McCormack recalls watching this episode with Bette and her friends. "We all gather around the set when Carson comes on. Bette crouches on the floor, totally absorbed. As she watches herself singing a humorous version of "Chattanooga Choo Choo" she's all smiles; but then as she watches herself sitting down making small talk with Carson, her mood changes and she starts to frown, as though what she sees and hears disturbs her. The image of this brassy-looking girl on the screen, so eager to please, seems to bother her . . . there's a heavy silence in the room. This image of herself on the screen, talking compulsively, anxious to please, seems to embarrass her. Carson is shaking his head with characteristic Midwestern Gee Whiz incredulity, saying, "You know something? You're gonna really be something to contend with . . . You're gonna be a very big star in this business." "I can't wait," Bette says, a clashing hash of fiery hair and painted lips, as seen on the screen. "Well, you'll just have to," cracks Carson. "Hmmmm. That's interesting," Bette is saying, from-down there on the floor. "That's very interesting...."

THE TONIGHT SHOW PAPERWORK
It was with great amazement when it was discovered that the Library Of Congress in Washington, D.C. had papers in their archives for most of the Tonight Show episodes starting from October 17, 1970. Upon learning this, the paperwork for all of the early episodes featuring Bette Midler were acquired. Since the Johnny Carson people claim many of these early episodes no longer exist, this paperwork may well be the only record of what took place. Not only that, but this paperwork also gives insights and extra details into the existing episodes such as this one.
Broadcast Standards	Pre-Interview Page 01	Pre-Interview Page 02	Pre-Interview Page 03	Tonight Show Notes
The Carson Papers document each night's show and the production material pertaining to guest interviews. Typed index cards contain introductory comments for use by Johnny Carson or a substitute host related to each guest. Linked to these cue cards are typed commentaries prepared by researchers from preliminary interviews with a guest outlining areas of interest to be discussed. Also with the file for each show is a listing of commercials, skits, guests, and network pauses in the sequence they occurred. A "Broadcast Standards Acceptability" report includes the names of guests, the host, sponsors, personalities and commercial products mentioned, and references which were censored and edited.

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