My first guest tonight has been with us quite a few times.  She will open at the Bitter End here in New York on May 10th.  And a lot of critics, more and more frequently I'm reading, are thinking this gal is gonna be one of our big stars.  And I think they happen to be right.  I think she's one of the brightest talents around today.  Would you welcome, Bette Midler.

Hi ya.  When I was a kid growing up, I was fascinated by the girls who use to sing rock- and-roll.  You know what I mean?  My favorite group of all was the toughest group you ever saw.  They always wore leather and spike heels.  They're name was The Shangri Las.  And they had a dialogue.  They're greatest hit was a dialogue song, and it started like this . . .

Leader of the Pack
(Jeff Barry, Ellie Greenwich, George Morton)

Hey, is she really going out with him?
Well, there she is, let's ask her.
Hey Betty, is that Jimmy's ring you're wearing?
Um-humm
Oh, must be hot riding on that monocycle with him after school, huh?
Um-huum
Oh, is he picking you up after school today?
Uh-Uhhhh
Well, where'd you meet him?

I met him at the candy store
He turned around and smiled at me
Ya get the picture 
That's when I fell for the leader of the pack

My folks were always putting him down
Down! Down!
They said he came from the wrong side of town
They told me that he was bad
But I knew that he was sad
And that's why I fell for the leader of the pack

One day my dad said find someone new
New! New!
I had to tell my Jimmy we were through
He stood up and then he asked me why
But all I could do was cry
I'm sorry I hurt you the leader of the pack.

He sort of smiled and he kissed me goodbye
The tears were beginning to show
And as he drove away on that rainy, rainy night
I begged him to go slow
But whether he heard me
I'll never, never, never know
No! No! No!
Look out! Look out!
Look out! Look out!

[screams]

I felt so helpless what could I do
Whoa, remembering all the love
That we had been through
At school they all stop and stare
I can't hide the tears
I just don't care
I will never forget you
The leader of the pack
Whoa, gone gone gone
Gone gone gone
The leader of the pack and now he's gone
The leader of the pack and now he's gone
The leader of the pack and now he's gone
The leader of the pack and now he's gone
He's gone gone gone
Gone gone gone
Gone gone gone

How are ya Bette?

I'm alright, how are you doing?  Hello.

How you doing?

Oh, my dear, I am wasted.  I am beaten.

Why?

These springolators are killing my feet.  

What are springolators?

These [showing her shoe] are springolators.  They have rhinestones on them and very high heels.  

May I see one of those?

Huh?

May I see one of those?

Oh . . . humm . . . well . . . [shows Johnny her shoe]

Now don't you know that's suppose to be bad for your foot?

Oh, my dear, aren't they glamorous?  

Yeah, they're very . . .

Don't you think they're glamorous?  

But I'll bet every ortho, no, podiatrist in the country would say that is very bad for you. 

Well, I know that dear.

Because all your weight goes on them.  You know, your whole spine sits on this little . . .

Yes, but . . . but the shoes, the whole aura is in the shoe.  You know what I mean?  I mean that's trash.  I mean they don't come any trashier than that.  You know what?    Whenever I wear these on the stage all these girls freak out!

Do they really?

And they say, "my God, I use to wear those."  [audience laughs]

All you need now is a penny under the top part there.  

[laughs]

Penny in your loafers and you're in.  

That's right.  That's right.

No, you're very much in style.  

Oh, thank you.

Are those coming back?

Um, I am on a campaign to bring them back, single handily.  

Yeah.

Yes.  I don't think I will be successful, however.  Which is just as well, you know [audience laughs] because I would prefer to be the only one wearing them.  

You can wear whatever you want to wear.

Yes.

How've you been?

I'm tired.  I'm tired.  I've been working very hard.

Oh.

You know, I . . .

Awwwww.

No.  No, I mean I have.  I've been working hard and I haven't been sleeping too much.  But I manage to remain cheerful above it all.  You know, I transcend.  I just smile my way all through it.

How do you get to sleep at night?  Do you meditate?

No . . . no, I . . . 

Count sheep?  Or do you . . . well, I didn't mean to get into personal revelations.  

I try and get very relaxed.  And, actually I count my hits, is what I do.  And I haven't had any.

[laughs] That keeps you awake.

That keeps me awake.  I went to a medium though, she told me I was going to have three gold records.  I said, "when, I haven't put one out yet."  

Did you really go to a medium?

Yes. [Says name of medium]

You shouldn't mention names now, that's an advertisement, you see.

Oh, sorry. 

You can't do that on television.  'Cause I don't think they believe in mediums.  

No?

Maybe a forty two long, but not a medium. [audience laughs]

Oh, you're hot tonight Carson, you're hot tonight.    

Why did you go to a medium?

Oh, I was having, I'm having a little trouble focusing, you know.  Ah, I just moved.  

Oh, that's right, you took an apartment.  

Yes, I moved, and the only thing that's doing really well in the house is my plants.  My plants are just . . . my plants just love the move.   

Well most people have terrible trouble raising plants.  Maybe we can come back and talk about that.

Well, that's good.

A few gardening tips tonight to perk things up.

Yes, oh yes.

Stay tuned.  We'll return in a moment after this word from the Kraft people.

[commercial break]

Alright.  What's wrong?

Nothing.

Oh.  

I'm just contemplating the next move.  

You're not moving again, you said you just moved. 

No, I mean I was contemplating talking about the plants.  

You wanna talk about your plants?

They love it when I talk about them.  

Are you one of those people that believe plants have personalities?

Darling, my plants all have personalities, they do.

They do?

Would you like to hear about them?

That's what we're here for.

I have a very aristocratic Gardenia that wasn't doing too well, you know.  It wasn't doing too well and so my boyfriend gave it a shot of cocaine and that really picked it up.   

Of course.

I was amazed.  I was amazed.  I didn't think anything would happen, and the plant just perked right up.  You know, gave it a whole new lease on life.  

That'll do it.

What do ya know.  And then I have a little Impatient that grows just like it's name.  It's all gnarled and impatient, it kept growing.  And I have a Venus Fly Trap.  A Venus Fly Trap, it's fabulous.

Don't they . . .

I have a Venus Fly Trap, and I don't have any flies, so I fed it bacon and it spit it out. [audience laughs] A Jewish Venus Fly Trap.

[laughs]  It said, "hey, cut that out."

Yeah, it spit it right out.  

I've seen those advertised.  

They're a . . .

They sit there and they, if you have flies in the room, I guess you feed them flies.

Yeah, but we don't have any flies, but there's a restaurant in our neighborhood that is very greasy, and they have a lot of them.  

Well, you can take your Venus Fly Trap to lunch.  

That's right.

That's got to shake up a waiter.  Does it?  "What'll you have?"  "I'll have the duck, and ah, bring me some flies."  

For the, for the Venus . . .

Fly trap, yes.

Venus Fly Trap.   

Why do you have a Venus Fly Trap?

Well, we went to one of those flower shows.

Yeah.

You know, and it was the least expensive thing.  They had all kinds of things for a hundred and eighty dollars and ninety dollars and . . . it's sad to have to buy plants, sad to have to pay that much money for a plant.  Right?  Right!  So we saw this Venus Fly Trap for a dollar eighty, and it was right up our alley.

And you felt sorry for it.

Yeah.  Well, it looked hungry. [laughs]  It was standing there, "buy me buy me, buy me buy me."  So we bought it.  

And it's doing well?

It's doing well.  I was surprised.  What it does is it takes all the juices out of these little animals it catches, you know.

Insects, right?

Yeah.  Yeah.  I'm gonna try roaches. [audience laughs]  No, I'm gonna look around, I'm gonna see what it digs, you know.  I'm gonna see what it likes.  I'm gonna try roaches, it might not care for them, you know, cause the composition.  

I wouldn't know.  

Oh. Oh.  

Now you need some Piranhas around the apartment.  You'll have a real crazy apartment.

Oh.  I have a friend who has one of those big ones.  You know, one of those big insect plants.

That's an octopus.

No, no, no.  

Oh.

One of those ones that has the curve, you know?  It's not a Venus Fly Trap but it's like a Venus Fly Trap.  It eats things, you know?  And the plant grew five feet and ate a Chihuahua.  [audience laughs]  I couldn't believe it.  He said the Chihuahua went into the green house and the Chihuahua never came out.  

Oh, now wait . . .

It's true!

Now wait, hoooold it!  The plant ate a Chihuahua?

The plant ate a Chihuahua.

Ooo now wait a minute Andy, I don't . . . [audience laughs]

I thought that was fabulous.  I thought that was one of the best stories I ever heard.

It is, that's a crazy story.

I'm gonna run out and get one of those.  

Yes . . . well then, don't buy a dog.  

No.  

You'll get a Great Dane.

Animals are really funny, you know.  I was terrified of them for a long time, until I got on a horse.  I went horseback riding.

You'd never been on a horse?

No.  Well, I was on a horse once and it threw me.  You see, the owner of the horse was my boyfriend, and I think he wanted to break up, I really do.  Because he and the horse had signals, and when he would go [clicks tong] to the horse, the horse would bolt.  And I didn't know that, and I got on that horse, and he went [clicks tong] and the horse went out from under me.

Well, that's a mean trick.

It was . . . oh, I didn't catch on until months later, you know.  After I'd been thrown from the horse like four or five times, I finally caught on, you know.

This is what he was doing.

Yeah.

Why don't you get that big plant and put it in your bedroom and invite him over some night.  

[laughs]

That'll get even with him.

Well, anyway, I went on this horse.

Oh, I'm sorry.

That's okay.  I got on this horse and the horse was really hot.  I mean the horse was really a good horse.  And it's fun to ride, and animals don't really hurt you if you don't, you know, if you don't let them know you're afraid.  That was a breakthrough, a major breakthrough in my life.  [audience laughs]  Yes. [a few seconds of silence]

I never know when you're finished.  

[laughs]  That was it.  I'm done now.  

Alright.

I'll take off my shoes and go home.  

You want to talk about the ah . . . Rex Reed wrote a very nice piece about you, didn't he?

Yeah.  Yes he did.  He did, he's a sweet person.  

It's very flattering.  

And the people he works for are very nice too.  Um, it was funny though, you know, that article was syndicated.

Yeah.

And people were sending it to me from different parts of the country, and it was different.  Different parts of the country would emphasize different aspects of the article.  

Oh really?

Yeah, like in Chicago I was an idiot.  The article made me sound like a total idiot in Chicago.  They edited it so I sounded stupid.  In San Francisco I sounded brilliant.  In Florida I was Jewish.  And in Houston I was Christian.  And it was, you know, it was very strange. 

Strange.

And it was all the same article, too, ya know.

Yes, but generally very nice to you.

Very nice.  Very nice.  I'm very grateful to you Mr. Reed.  

We open together, you know.  I open at the Sahara in Las Vegas April 21st and you're going to go in there with me.  

Oh yes, I'm doing my number.

So I think you'll crack them up out there.  

Hummm. [audience laughs]  I'm gonna do more than that.

[laughing] Okay.

That's what you, isn't that right though, you have to, don't you sort of have to have a good time out there?  I mean, you really have to let it all hang out.  That's the kind of place it is, isn't it?

It's kind of a fun loving city.

Is it?  Yeah.

Right.

Yeah.

We're gonna do a commercial?  No.  You got another number I understand?    

Oh, yes [looking somber] that's right.  

Well, don't you feel like doing it?

It's so traumatic doing this show.  It's so traumatic.  It really is.

You still get traumatic?

Yeah.  I had a bad day, you know, it snowed.  

Oh, I'm sorry.

And I couldn't cope with the snow.  

Don't you like singing when it snows?

No, I don't like like doing anything when it snows.  

Oh.

I'm gonna sing that song.  

Okay.

Delta Dawn
(Alex Harvey, Larry Collins)

She was, she was forty one and her daddy still called her baby
Everyone in Brownsville thinks she's crazy
'Cause she walks to the station with a suitcase in her hand
Looking for a mysterious dark haired man

In her younger day they called her Delta Dawn
Prettiest woman you ever laid eyes on
But a man of low degree stood by her side
Promised he would take her for his bride

Delta Dawn what's that flower you have on
Could it be a faded rose from days gone by
Did I hear you say he was meeting you here today
To take you to his mansion in the sky

Delta Dawn what's that flower you got on
Could it be a faded rose from days gone by
Did I hear you say he was meeting you here today
To take you to his mansion in the sky

Delta Dawn what's that flower you have on
Could it be a faded rose from days gone by
Did I hear you say he was meeting you here today
To take you to his mansion in the sky

Delta Dawn, woah, oh what's that flower that you have on
Could it be, could it be a faded rose from all those those days gone by
Did I her you say he was meeting you right here today
To take you to his mansion in the sky
To take you to his mansion in the sky

Yeah!  There you are, you see?

Ahh, you see . . . you see.  

It's not so bad singing while it's snowing, is it?

It's not so bad.  No.

And now here's Doc with a word of good advice for all your weight watchers

INTERESTING FACTS

Barry Manilow can clearly be heard singing background vocals on "Leader of the Pack."  It is also assumed that he is playing piano on both songs that Bette performed.  

Bette missed her cue at the beginning of "Delta Dawn" but quickly found her spot and went on to perform a very memorable and emotional version of the song.  

The Tonight Show paperwork for this episode is missing from the Library Of Congress archives.