Johnny Carson
(italic text is based on intro
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Here on The Tonight Show, we never spare any
expense when it comes to our good friend Bette Midler. When she
joined us in Hollywood, we had six dancers and had a whole production
number, circa . . . what . . . 1930 or something for Bette Midler .
Tonight we arranged for a special set to be flown in, but it blew up on
the way or something . . . but here it is
anyway. Would you please welcome . . . Bette Midler.
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Bette Midler |
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The Continental
(Herb Magidson, Con Conrad)
Beautiful music
Dangerous rhythm
It's something daring, the Continental
A way of dancing that's really ultra new
It's very subtle, the Continental
Because it does what you want it to do
It has a passion, the Continental
An invitation to moonlight and romance
It's quite the fashion, the Continental
Because you tell of your love while you dance
Your lips whisper so tenderly
His eyes answer your song
Two bodies swaying, the Continental,
And you are saying just what you're thinking of
So keep on doing the Continental
For it's the dance of romance and of love
Kiss while you're dancing
The Continental it's continental
Sing while you're dancing
Your voice is gentle, mmm sentimental
You'll know before the night is through
That you're in love with him and
He's in love with you
You'll find while you're dancing
That there's a rhythm in your heart and soul
A certain rhythm that you can't control
And you will do the Continental all the time
Beautiful music
Dangerous rhythm
You'll know before the night is through
That you're in love with him and
He's in love with you
Oh, you'll find while you're dancing
That there's a rhythm in your heart and soul
A certain rhythm that you can't control
And you will do the Continental all the time
Oh, beautiful music
Dangerous rhythm
The Continental!
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Johnny Carson
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How are you doing?
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Bette Midler |
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Well, that is not the question, the question's
how are you?
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Johnny Carson |
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I'm fine. I'm fine.
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Bette Midler
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Oh, I'm glad to hear it. Thank
you. Oh, that set! I felt like a Busby Berkeley
reject.
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Johnny Carson
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Were you suppose to be on it when it came
around the first time, or were you late?
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Bette Midler
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No! That was the way it was suppose to
be.
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Johnny Carson
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Oh.
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Bette Midler
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I was there. You just couldn't see me
for the foliage.
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Johnny Carson
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I see.
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Bette Midler
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But I loved it.
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Johnny Carson
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That was designed by our a-set designer Merrill Sindler.
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Bette Midler
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Oh Merrill is wonderful, yes.
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Johnny Carson
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I thought you were suppose to be on the chair,
you didn't show up yet. But it was supposed to be that way?
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Bette Midler
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Yeah.
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Johnny Carson
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Oh, it was very effective.
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Bette Midler
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Yes, oh, thank you.
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Johnny Carson
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How are your castanets? Aren't those
castanets?
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Bette Midler
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Yes.
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Johnny Carson
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That's what those are, right?
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Ed McMahon |
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[laughing]
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Johnny Carson
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Those are castanets, right?
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Bette Midler
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He's so vile.
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Johnny Carson
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What are you talking about? Those have always fascinated me.
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Ed McMahon |
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[laughing]
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Bette Midler
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I've gotten to be an expert at them, actually.
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Johnny Carson
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Yeah, they're not easy to use, are they?
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Bette Midler
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Well, these are not easy to use. These
are Woolworth five-and-dime ones.
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Johnny Carson
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Well, we don't often get a big castanet number
here.
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Bette Midler
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[laughs]
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Johnny Carson
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We make due with what we have.
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Bette Midler
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That's true. Alright.
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Johnny Carson
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How've you been?
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Bette Midler
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I've been very well. Yes things are moving along very nicely for
me. I'm going to Seattle. I'm going to do a rock-and-roll
opera in
Seattle.
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Johnny Carson
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A rock-and-roll opera?
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Bette Midler
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Yes. One of the original rock operas,
it's called Tommy. [audience applauds]
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Johnny Carson
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Yeah.
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Bette Midler
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Yes. And I'm going to do my first double
role.
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Johnny Carson
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Your first double role.
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Bette Midler
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Yes, like Maria Montez in Cobra
Woman.
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Johnny Carson
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Maria Montez in Cobra Woman? Gracie?
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Bette Midler
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Yes.
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Johnny Carson
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That goes back a few years.
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Bette Midler
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Oh, yes.
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Johnny Carson
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Well, you weren't even born when that picture
was made.
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Bette Midler
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No, but I saw it about twelve
times.
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Johnny Carson
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You like the old movies, don't you?
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Bette Midler
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Yes, I do. I like those movies with
strange looking people in them.
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Johnny Carson
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Yeah.
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Bette Midler
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I mean she was very strange looking, you've
got to admit that. She had shoulders wider than the Hollywood
Hills. People use
to dive off her shoulders into the ocean.
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Johnny Carson
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I didn't know that.
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Bette Midler
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Oh yes.
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Johnny Carson
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Well, it was the costume of the day, wasn't it?
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Bette Midler
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Yes, it was. But she was sort of, you know what she was? She was sort of
the incarnate
forties woman.
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Johnny Carson
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Yeah.
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Bette Midler
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You know because she was so exaggerated.
But I liked her very much.
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Johnny Carson
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Was Maria Montez in a lot of pictures with
John Hall, or am I thinking of somebody else?
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Bette Midler
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Yes, she was in a lot of pictures with John
Hall and Turhan Bey.
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Johnny Carson
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You remember. You know all these, huh?
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Bette Midler
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Yeah, I know a little bit about it. I
don't know as much as some people.
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Johnny Carson
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Do you ever get the feeling you were born
thirty years too late?
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Bette Midler
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Yes.
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Johnny Carson
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That you would have, I've said this before,
that you seem to fit into that era.
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Bette Midler
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Well, when I see those movies I do.
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Johnny Carson
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Right.
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Bette Midler
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You know, because there are any number of
those movies that I could have done, but I'm having a lot of trouble
getting movies these days.
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Johnny Carson
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Have you had any picture offers?
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Bette Midler
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We did that last time.
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Johnny Carson
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We did?
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Bette Midler
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Yes. I confessed.
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Johnny Carson
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Sorry, I know I'm here, but I don't know what
we do every night.
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Bette Midler
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I confessed to a couple of stag movie
offers.
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Johnny Carson
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Oh, no no, I don't want to get into
that. But you didn't do them, did you?
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Bette Midler
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No, I didn't do them. I asked my mother
and she told me no. She said "nice girls."
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Johnny Carson
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Yeah.
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Bette Midler
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"Only when they're married." That's what
she said.
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Johnny Carson
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And you held to that?
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Bette Midler
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I try. [laughs] I give it a
try.
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Johnny Carson
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That's all one can do.
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Bette Midler
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Yes.
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Johnny Carson
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Do you think morality is changing
nowadays? I mean, or are people just more honest about
what they do?
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Bette Midler
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Oh, of course. Of course, definitely.
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Johnny Carson
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Yeah.
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Bette Midler
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It's difficult when you have parents that are near by.
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Johnny Carson
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It's tougher when you don't have
parents.
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Bette Midler
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It's difficult when you have parents who live
near you, to be very, you know, open and broad about it.
Some kids manage to do it. I keep a lot my life a secret from my
parents.
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Johnny Carson
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Do you really?
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Bette Midler
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Yes, I do. Well, I just let them know this minute though, didn't I?
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Johnny Carson
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Yeah. Well, what kind of things would you
keep secret from your parents? [audience laughs] It's alright,
nobody's watching.
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Bette Midler
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[laughs] Oh, my bank account, and the
boys I go out with, and what their fathers do, and what they do, and if
they do anything at all.
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Johnny Carson
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Do you believe in marriage? A lot of
kids nowadays don't believe in marriage.
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Bette Midler
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No.
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Johnny Carson
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They think marriage in itself is kind of
archaic and it'll disappear someday.
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Bette Midler
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No. Oh no, I don't believe in it. I
can't. I can't afford it, first of all.
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Johnny Carson
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No, no, the guy pays.
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Bette Midler
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No.
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Johnny Carson
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He pays.
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Bette Midler
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They used to.
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Johnny Carson
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Oh he pays.
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Bette Midler
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Oh, well, you would know. [laughing]
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Johnny Carson
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No, no, I'm just teasing. But, what
do you mean you can't afford to get married?
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Bette Midler
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Well, see . . .
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Johnny Carson
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If I'm getting too personal . . .
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Bette Midler
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I can't afford, no, I can't afford to get
married because I just don't have the time now to give to a husband, or to a family. And I'd like to have a family, eventually
. . . maybe when I'm thirty five . . . maybe. I don't know, it's a
big responsibility. I'm very flighty and I don't really
like that kind of responsibility. I really don't. I have
enough trouble taking care of myself. I can barely keep my underwear
clean, you know. [audience laughs]
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Johnny Carson
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That's not going to get your married too quick
either. [audience laughs]
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Bette Midler
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Maybe that's the reason.
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Johnny Carson
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Gotta have clean underwear. That's Newton's
fourth law - I shall have clean underwear. [audience laughs]
That was Murray Newton, I don't know.
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Bette Midler
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[laughing] Did he get married?
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Johnny Carson
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No, he sat in his cave. [audience
laughs] Ahhh, what am I talking about. Hey, if you could play
any role in the motion pictures, go back and take your pick, what would
you play? Maria Montez type of jazz?
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Bette Midler
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No. No no no. Because I really,
well I get a kick out of that kind of thing, but my head is really . .
. I'm very serious about movies.
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Johnny Carson
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I know you are.
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Bette Midler
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About classical movies. I would like to
do, umm, one of those Sadie Thompson pictures.
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Johnny Carson
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Oh yeah.
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Bette Midler
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I'd like to do a version of Rain. Somerset Maugham's
Rain.
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Johnny Carson
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Yeah.
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Bette Midler
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They've done that movie about four times. They did it with Joan Crawford and they did
it with Rita Hayworth, which was wonderful, I
thought.
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Johnny Carson
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Yeah, Sadie Thompson.
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Bette Midler
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Yes, and that character has always fascinated
me, and I think that's the character I would like very much to
play. I'm enamored of those sort of women from Shanghai movies, you know, getting on a tramp steamer and going off into the fog,
you know. You know those movies?
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Johnny Carson
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Yeah, I surely do.
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Bette Midler
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Thousands of them. I love
those.
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Johnny Carson
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You'd like that, eh?
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Bette Midler
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Oh yes.
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Johnny Carson
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You'll probably get a movie offer soon, don't
you think?
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Bette Midler
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No . . . ugh . . .
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Johnny Carson
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I mean legitimate. [audience laughs]
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Bette Midler
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What are you suppose to say when somebody asks
you that? If you say yes, that means that the
record people don't want ya. If ya say no, that means the movie people
won't call you, because they think you don't want to make movies, you
know? It's very difficult. I don't know honey. I'm just
waiting. My day will come, just wait.
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Johnny Carson
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As it, as it will. Okay . . . what
is that, see the . . . the eyes are going . . .
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Ed McMahon
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See the ten in one suit.
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Johnny Carson
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Thank you. See the ten in one . . .
well, you're a farthing closer than I am, that's a furlough.
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[COMMERCIAL BREAK]
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Johnny Carson
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Do you want to talk
about the Academy Awards or something?
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Bette Midler
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Sure.
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Johnny Carson
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Yeah.
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Bette Midler
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It's Academy Award time.
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Johnny Carson
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Are you going?
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Bette Midler
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Why would I go to the Academy Awards?
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Johnny Carson
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I don't know, you've brought it
up.
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Bette Midler
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It's very unsheek to go to the Academy Awards.
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Johnny Carson
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Oh, it's unsheek?
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Bette Midler
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Oh, of course, everybody who's anybody stays
away. Don't you find? My friends [laughs] My friends and I, we
take bets on which of the nominees aren't going to show
up.
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Johnny Carson
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Who's not going to show up this year?
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Bette Midler
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And who they're going to send in their
place. Well, I don't know who the nominees are.
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Johnny Carson
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You would not go to the Academy Awards if
somebody invited you?
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Bette Midler
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No, I don't think I would.
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Johnny Carson
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If Rock Hudson came up and says, "Bette, lets go
to the Academy Awards," you wouldn't go?
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Bette Midler
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I don't know Rock Hudson, why would I go with
him? [audience laughs]
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Johnny Carson
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I don't know. Who would you go
with? If you had a choice.
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Bette Midler
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You mean, well . . . lets see, if I were
nominated?
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Johnny Carson
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Yes.
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Bette Midler
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If I were nominated, and I had a boyfriend,
I'd go with him. Barandthat, I would probably try and dig up Turhan Bey, or
one of those numbers, like that, and go with them, you know. Bring
in an oldie but a goodie. If D.
W. Griffith were alive I'd go with him.
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Johnny Carson
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You would?
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Bette Midler
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Sure. And I'd get all dressed up and in very high sort of masquerade and go as someone very famous
like Helen
Morgan or, you know, one of those old ladies
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Johnny Carson
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You're really steep in history, aren't you?
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Bette Midler
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Oh, yes, I do try.
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Johnny Carson
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Or you're steep in something, I don't know.
[audience laughs]
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Bette Midler
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Don't you find it
exciting?
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Johnny Carson
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No . . .
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Bette Midler
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You don't find it exciting?
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Johnny Carson
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I'm not . . . I mean . . .
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Bette Midler
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You don't go to festivals and all those
things?
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Johnny Carson
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No.
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Bette Midler
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No?
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Johnny Carson
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I haven't been to a festival for . . .
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Bette Midler
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Well, you can come with me next time I go, next
time I go to a film festival.
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Johnny Carson
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You said you don't go.
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Bette Midler
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I don't go to awards, I go to festivals
though.
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Johnny Carson
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What kind of festivals?
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Bette Midler
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Film festivals, you know, like the ones up in Lincoln
Center and the ones at the Museum of Modern Art, and all those.
Everybody goes to those!
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Johnny Carson
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Have you been to one Ed?
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Ed McMahon
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No, I have not.
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Johnny Carson
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You see.
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Bette Midler
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Well, you may both come the next time we
go.
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Johnny Carson
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What are they showing?
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Bette Midler
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What are they, umm . . . they had a D.W. Griffith retrospective
at the Elgin.
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Johnny Carson
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Yeah.
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Bette Midler
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A couple of weeks ago. I went to
that.
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Johnny Carson
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You really do follow this, don't you?
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Bette Midler
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Yeah. That was exhausting though, oh . .
. it was exhausting. A lot of it held up, some of it held up
surprisingly well and some of it didn't hold up at
all. I saw Birth of a Nation and it was just terrifying.
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Johnny Carson
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Yeah?
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Bette Midler
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Oh, I was so, I was like this after I got out
of the movie. I couldn't stand
it. I just hated the movie. It caused race riots,
you know.
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Johnny Carson
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Yes, it did, originally.
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Bette Midler
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When it first came out. And you know
what? [stamps foot on floor] I know why!
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Johnny Carson
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Well, why did it?
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Bette Midler
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Because he took a very strange attitude about race.
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Johnny Carson
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Yea.
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Bette Midler
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I don't know what he
knew. He was a southerner, you know. D.W. Griffith was a
southerner.
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Johnny Carson
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Yes
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Bette Midler
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And I guess he knew what he was talking about,
but . . . you wanna know something funny?
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Johnny Carson
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Yes.
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Bette Midler
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There wasn't a single black person in that
movie. It was about the civil war, and there were no black people in
that movie. There were only white people in black face. And I
found that, that upset me, that offended me.
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Johnny Carson
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Well, I suppose it would now, but I suppose
then nobody really thought anything about that at that
time.
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Bette Midler
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No, perhaps not.
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Johnny Carson
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They use to have minstrel shows too, and
everybody thought minstrel shows were fine, and nobody thought anything
. . .
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Bette Midler
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I know, you know what, I try very hard to reconcile
my . . . I try hard to think about it that way, but I can't, it just offends me.
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Johnny Carson
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Well, I'm sorry.
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Bette Midler
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Well, that's alright Johnny. Lets talk about
something more cheerful.
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Johnny Carson
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Moving along. You loose me at times,
really.
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Bette Midler
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Do I?
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Johnny Carson
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Yeah. Just at times.
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Bette Midler
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Oh, must be all those pills . . .
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Johnny Carson
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What! What does that mean Peter?
Peter, what does this mean with the thumb. Ahh, I didn't know,
thought it was that new thing you brought in. Peter's sitting here
going . . . like you're hitchhiking up to the Rainbow Room or
something. I've been in television twenty years, I've never seen
this . . . all the other cues I know. It's time to go over to Ed's
place for Steak McMahon with Uncle Bens Rice.
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[END OF INTERVIEW]
The following is a segment from Rodney
Dangerfield's interview in which Bette had a chance to interact with
Rodney.
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Rodney D.
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How many nights do you work?
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Bette Midler
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Ah, two a week?
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Rodney D.
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Two a week?
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Bette Midler
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Yes.
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Rodney D.
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If you want to work at my club, you know we
can work it out.
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Bette Midler
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Really?
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Rodney D.
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If you want to listen to reason we can . .
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Johnny Carson
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You pay well, do you?
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Rodney D.
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No, no . . . usually your salary consists of
food . . .
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Bette Midler
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Humm . . .
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Rodney D.
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And whatever the people throw.
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Bette Midler
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Ahh, I've been there.
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Johnny Carson
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You've played those kind of places. No,
it's a nice club.
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Rodney D.
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Yeah, we have a lot of fun there every night
and that's what Dangerfields's is, just a place to hang out and have a lot
of laughs.
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Johnny Carson
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You never know what's going to happen.
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Rodney D.
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You never know what's going to happen there or
here, or anywhere.
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Johnny Carson
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That's life.
|
|
Bette Midler
|
|
I've been in your club nights when the women
attack you.
|
|
Rodney D.
|
|
Women attack me? Where are they now?
|
|
Bette Midler
|
|
I was there one night when some ladies from
New Jersey where there, and they kept pulling you. It was
amazing.
|
|
Rodney D.
|
|
Really?
|
|
Bette Midler
|
|
I couldn't believe it.
|
|
Rodney D.
|
|
When was this? Where was I? What condition
was I in?
|
|
Bette Midler
|
|
It was a few months ago. It wiped me
out.
|
|
Rodney D.
|
|
I wish it would have wiped me out.
|
|
Johnny Carson
|
|
We have a surprise guest tonight, Maude
Frickert, with a whole new bag.
|
|
|
|
[COMMERCIAL BREAK]
|
|
Johnny Carson
|
|
Welcome back. We're going to spend the
last half hour of the show with Paul Ehrlich tonight.
|
|
Rodney D.
|
|
Excuse me, I was talking with Bette and we
want to work something out with the club and everything else, and who
knows what it'll lead to, you know.
|
|
Johnny Carson
|
|
It could be a happy romance.
|
|
Rodney D.
|
|
You never know what can happen . . . no no,
no, this is just strictly business.
|
|
Bette Midler
|
|
Yes, just business.
|
|
Rodney D.
|
|
So would you mind if we ran along?
|
|
Johnny Carson
|
|
I thank you for coming tonight, both of you.
|
|
Rodney D.
|
|
Yes, it's been a pleasure.
|
|
Bette Midler
|
|
Thank you.
|
|
Johnny Carson
|
|
Thank you darling. See you at the
Academy Awards.
|
