Johnny Carson
|
|
How are ya this evening?
|
|
Bette Midler
|
|
Oh. [gives Ed a kiss] Oh, you get one too.
[gives Johnny a kiss]
|
|
Johnny Carson |
|
Yes, I get one too. What'd you
think of our performing dog?
|
|
Bette Midler |
|
I thought he was very bright, actually.
He's a lot brighter than I am, at times. He's very, he's a nice dog,
you know. He's very affectionate. I use to think those German Shepard's
- this is a generalization a lot of people make - I use to think German Shepard's
were very mean. But he's just so sweet. I mean when you look
at him and he rolls over, you know, which dogs don't generally
do.
|
|
Ed McMahon |
|
No.
|
|
Johnny Carson
|
|
I guess they don't unless you tell them.
|
|
Bette Midler
|
|
That's nice. That's nice for you to look
at someone and . . .
|
|
Johnny Carson
|
|
You didn't tell him to roll over?
|
|
Bette Midler
|
|
No, I didn't tell him to. It's nice,
isn't that nice when you just look at someone or something and
they just roll over? I just think that's
lovely.
|
|
Johnny Carson
|
|
Yes, that could be. [audience laughs]
|
|
Bette Midler
|
|
Yes.
|
|
Johnny Carson
|
|
That's like the cliché that bulldogs,
you know, are . . . they say they're the most gentle dog in the world
with children, a bulldog.
|
|
Ed McMahon
|
|
Right.
|
|
Bette Midler
|
|
Yes. Yes, well you know I was terrified
of dogs for many many years.
|
|
Johnny Carson
|
|
You were?
|
|
Bette Midler
|
|
Until I met this Basset Hound. [audience laughs] I met this Basset Hound named Nancy Drew.
[audience laughs] She is a brilliant dog, she is just brilliant.
I don't know, she's like a human being, you
know. I was, I never got near dogs, because my mother
always said, "now don't go near dogs." So I never went near them, and I
was always terrified of them until I met this Basset Hound. And now
we're very close, you know, we're very good friends. And
now I'm not afraid of dogs anymore. What do you think of that?
|
|
Johnny Carson
|
|
I think that's fine.
|
|
Bette Midler
|
|
[laughs]
|
|
Johnny Carson
|
|
Do you see the dog often?
|
|
Bette Midler
|
|
Yes, oh yes. Yes. Alternate
Thursdays we have visiting days.
|
|
Johnny Carson
|
|
We had a . . . we had a big Basset out on the
show in Los Angeles. Do you remember?
|
|
Ed McMahon |
|
[inaudible]
|
|
Johnny Carson
|
|
No, the one that was suppose to sing and never
did sing.
|
|
Ed McMahon |
|
No.
|
|
Bette Midler
|
|
Ohhhh.
|
|
Johnny Carson
|
|
Never sang at all, just sat there and looked
sad. What were you like as a child?
|
|
Bette Midler
|
|
Me?
|
|
Johnny Carson
|
|
Yeah.
|
|
Bette Midler
|
|
Oh, I was very pervasious.
I had this thing when I was a child growing up. I wanted to
look like Annette Funicello.
And ah . . . [audience laughs] No, for many years, you
know I was a . . .
|
|
Johnny Carson
|
|
Did ya?
|
|
Bette Midler
|
|
Yes, I . . .
|
|
Johnny Carson
|
|
Well she's a very attractive ah . . .
|
|
Bette Midler
|
|
Yes, she' a very . . . actually, she was . . .
when she was young she was adorable. I use to adore her.
|
|
Johnny Carson
|
|
So she still is young.
|
|
Bette Midler
|
|
She, well . . .
|
|
Johnny Carson
|
|
How old could
Annette Funicello me?
|
|
Bette Midler
|
|
No, I'm talking about like when she was four
eleven.
|
|
Johnny Carson
|
|
Oh, you mean the Mickey Mouse club.
|
|
Bette Midler
|
|
When she was a Mouseketeer, oh yes.
|
|
Johnny Carson
|
|
Ohhh.
|
|
Bette Midler
|
|
Yes. I wanted to grow up to look like Annette Funicello.
I didn't quite succeed in all areas, but I made it past some of
them. [laughs]
|
|
Johnny Carson
|
|
You certainly did.
|
|
Bette Midler
|
|
Yes I did. Anyway . . .
|
|
Johnny Carson
|
|
Ahh, healthy youngster you are.
|
|
Bette Midler
|
|
Yes.
|
|
Johnny Carson
|
|
You are, you are that.
|
|
Bette Midler
|
|
Yes I am.
|
|
Johnny Carson
|
|
You still work in the steam bath?
|
|
Bette Midler
|
|
Ahh, yes, I'm going back there. [music starts
to play]
|
|
Johnny Carson
|
|
That just means we're going to cut away.
|
|
Bette Midler
|
|
Oh. I'm going back for
four
weeks. They picked up my option and I'm going back there for
awhile.
|
|
Johnny Carson
|
|
Alright, and you're going to do a special
number I understand tonight.
|
|
Bette Midler
|
|
Yes. We're all doing a special number
tonight.
|
|
Johnny Carson
|
|
Alright.
|
|
|
|
[commercial break]
|
|
Johnny Carson
|
|
We're talking with Bette
Midler. Why did you decide on Bet, rather than say
Betty?
|
|
Bette Midler
|
|
It was my mothers idea.
|
|
Johnny Carson
|
|
Yeah?
|
|
Bette Midler
|
|
She always pronounced . . . she named me after
Bette Davis.
|
|
Johnny Carson
|
|
Ahhh.
|
|
Bette Midler
|
|
And she always pronounced it Bet. I
never quite figured out if she meant it, if she knew, or if she was just
guessing, you see. 'Cause I've met a lot of people who spell
their name the way I do, but they always pronounce it Betty, instead of
Bet.
|
|
Johnny Carson
|
|
It's just B E T T E?
|
|
Bette Midler
|
|
Yeah, my mother says Bet, as in, you wanna
make a bet? I had to live through that one all through grammar
school.
|
|
Johnny Carson
|
|
Is that what you had to put up
with?
|
|
Bette Midler
|
|
Oh yes, that's not all I had to put up
with. I put up with a great deal.
|
|
Johnny Carson
|
|
What do you mean?
|
|
Bette Midler
|
|
Oh, I don't know, I was this strange child,
you know. It's hard to be a Jewish girl from Honolulu, you know.
|
|
Johnny Carson
|
|
We talked about that, you were from
Honolulu.
|
|
Bette Midler
|
|
Yes.
|
|
Johnny Carson
|
|
You worked in a pineapple canning factory
once.
|
|
Bette Midler
|
|
Oh yes, I started working when I was very
young, when I was sixteen years old. My life was very strange in
Honolulu. You know, it's amazing, people always say to me, "how
can a Jewish girl grow up in Honolulu?" You know, it
seems like a strange place for a Jewish girl to come from. But I had the same kind of childhood that most people had, most people my
age had living here. You know, I liked the same things, I wore the
same things. I wore crinolines, you know, in the fifties. I
wore crinolines and I had pennies in my loafers. And I had a
boyfriend who wore white bucks, and had a pack of Camels rolled up in his
t-shirt.
|
|
Johnny Carson
|
|
In the t-shirt,
yes.
|
|
Bette Midler
|
|
Oh yes. Yes. I mean, it was the
same thing for me to grow up in
Honolulu as it was for anybody else to grow up anywhere else in the United
States.
|
|
Johnny Carson
|
|
You know you look like you should have
grown up in the thirties.
|
|
Ed McMahon
|
|
Yeah.
|
|
Johnny Carson
|
|
Your gestures. Everything about
you. And I don't mean this patronizingly.
|
|
Bette Midler
|
|
No, that's because . . .
|
|
Johnny Carson
|
|
It's an attitude. You have a . . .
|
|
Bette Midler
|
|
That is something . . . see, I use to
watch a lot of old movies.
|
|
Johnny Carson
|
|
Yeah.
|
|
Bette Midler
|
|
Yeah, and I use to, these women were
constantly clutching at themselves, you know, they were always in pain,
and constantly expressing it by a physical language, you know.
|
|
Johnny Carson
|
|
Yeah.
|
|
Bette Midler
|
|
And one day I just, it happened you know, I
just started . . . posing, you know.
|
|
Johnny Carson
|
|
It just kind of hung on, huh?
|
|
Bette Midler
|
|
And expressing myself through a physical
means, and I've been at it ever since. [laughs]
|
|
Johnny Carson
|
|
Well good, good.
|
|
Ed McMahon
|
|
Keep it up.
|
|
Johnny Carson
|
|
No better way, yeah. [laughs]
Expressing yourself through physical means.
|
|
Ed McMahon
|
|
[laughing]
|
|
Bette Midler
|
|
Listen, you talk about the thirties. I've been, you know
I started out singing thirties songs.
|
|
Johnny Carson
|
|
That's right.
|
|
Bette Midler
|
|
It took me two years to get out of the
thirties. I use to sing nothing but thirties songs, you know.
Thirties
torch songs, you know, and clutch at myself while I would do them. But I loved them. But
I'm getting out of that now,
I'm getting a little further away from that.
|
|
Johnny Carson
|
|
What decade are you in now?
|
|
Bette Midler
|
|
I have this 40's song that isn't quite
ready, but I have this 50's song. You see, when I was a kid I had
this fantasy that I would have a group, that I'd have a vocal group, you
know.
|
|
Johnny Carson
|
|
We started to talk about that last time but we
never finished.
|
|
Bette Midler
|
|
Yeah, last time, remember? Vocal groups.
[Turns to Ed] You remember vocal groups?
|
|
Ed McMahon
|
|
Sure.
|
|
Bette Midler
|
|
They would sing syllables. Oh, I had this fantasy, I had this group, the name of my group was Big Eyed
Betty And The Bang Bangs. [audience laughs] Do you love
it? Isn't that wonderful?
|
|
Johnny Carson
|
|
Big Eyed Betty and the . . .
|
|
Bette Midler
|
|
And the Bang Bangs.
|
|
Johnny Carson
|
|
Gracie?
|
|
Bette Midler
|
|
Big Eyed Bette and the Bang Bangs, you will forgive
me, sorry mom. Humm. Big Eyed Bette and the Bang Bangs.
But I never got that group.
|
|
Johnny Carson
|
|
Never got a group.
|
|
Bette Midler
|
|
Well, my dear, you promised me last week.
|
|
Johnny Carson
|
|
But I don't know what you're going to
do. I said we'd like to help.
|
|
Bette Midler
|
|
Well, we're going to sing a little fifties number, and you're going to help me.
|
|
Johnny Carson
|
|
We'll be the Bang Bangs?
|
|
Bette Midler
|
|
You'll be the Bang Bangs! Yeah!
You, you, and you, and maybe Doc Severinsen.
|
|
Ed McMahon
|
|
He's a great Bang Bang [audience laughs]
|
|
Bette Midler
|
|
Oh!
|
|
Johnny Carson
|
|
Does he have . . . do you want
him to come over here?
|
|
Bette Midler
|
|
No, we can all line up over there if you'd
like.
|
|
Johnny Carson
|
|
Aren't you going to tell us what we have to
do?
|
|
Bette Midler
|
|
Oh, of course I will, soon as we get up on our
feet boys. Gentlemen! Gentlemen!
|
|
Johnny Carson
|
|
Oh yes my little wild flower!
|
|
Bette Midler
|
|
Alright gentlemen, oh the Bang Bangs, in size
please, size placement please. You on this end, oh aren't you
cute. Come along Mr. Carson, oh you're divine. Yes. A
little further over, I am the star you know. [audience laughs]
Yes. Here we go. Now then, gentlemen, the name of the song
that we are about to sing is "Why Must I Be A Teenager In Love." The
introduction to this song goes just like this, now follow along with
me. Oooo-Wooo-Wahha-Ooooo Whop Whop Whop
|
|
Everyone
|
|
Oooo-Wooo-Wahha-Ooooo Whop Whop
Whop [very badily]
|
|
Doc Severinsen
|
|
Can we do that again?
|
|
Everyone
|
|
Oooo-Wooo-Wahha-Ooooo Whop Whop Whop
Oooo-Wooo-Wahha-Ooooo Whop Whop Whop
|
|
Bette Midler
|
|
Brilliant! Now, that's all you have to
sing except for the title line, which goes like this.
Why must I be a teenager in love?
Got that?
Wonderful! Now, the thing is . . .
|
|
Johnny Carson
|
|
Do we do that?
|
|
Ed McMahon
|
|
No, we don't do that.
|
|
Bette Midler
|
|
Well, you don't have to, but this is
what's going to happen. Now, one of the things that was so
remarkable about those fifties groups what they always . . .
|
|
Ed McMahon
|
|
Wooo-Wahha
|
|
Doc Severinsen
|
|
Whop Whop. You forgot the Whop
Whop part.
|
|
Bette Midler
|
|
That's alright darling, you'll get into
it. They always had chorography.
|
|
Ed McMahon
|
|
Right.
|
|
Bette Midler
|
|
Okay? So here's your step, this is the
step we're going to sing while we sing the Oooo's. Ready?
Start on your right foot please. [starts dancing]
Oooo-Wooo-Wahha-Ooooo
Whop Whop Whop
|
|
Everyone
|
|
[dancing] Oooo-Wooo-Wahha-Ooooo Whop
Whop Whop [audience applauds]
|
|
Bette Midler
|
|
Brilliant! Just brilliant! Now,
that's all we have to do, that's all we have to do. Except that one
other thing that was so remarkable about those groups was they always took
poses. I love poses. So, whenever we sing the title
line, why must I be a teenager in love, everybody has to get a pose and
hit it. [to Doc] Now here's a pose for you. Now all you have to do
is bend down on your knees like this. This is your pose.
Okay? Now whenever we sing that line, that's your pose. [to
Johnny] Okay, your pose Mr. Carson is this. Up, ah, hands up in the air.
|
|
Johnny Carson
|
|
Yeah.
|
|
Bette Midler
|
|
Stay straight ahead.
|
|
Johnny Carson
|
|
Yeah.
|
|
Bette Midler
|
|
Straight ahead. Hands up in the air as
if you're pleading to God, you know.
|
|
Doc Severinsen
|
|
Yeah, baby! [audience laughs]
|
|
Bette Midler
|
|
Oh! Alright. Now, Ed McMahon . .
.
|
|
Doc Severinsen
|
|
It's only when we go?
|
|
Bette Midler
|
|
When . . .
|
|
Ed McMahon
|
|
The title song.
|
|
Bette Midler
|
|
The title line. Right! Now your
pose Mr. McMahon, your pose is this. This is your pose.
[audience laughs] Oh brilliant! Oh brilliant! Oh, aren't
they heavy? Now, you can get up now, yes. Now listen, we're
going to sing the song all the way through.
|
|
Johnny Carson
|
|
Why must I be a teenager in love?
|
|
Bette Midler
|
|
Yes.
|
|
Doc Severinsen
|
|
Whop Whop
|
|
Bette Midler
|
|
Right. Now, I get to sing the end of the
song myself.
|
|
Johnny Carson
|
|
Right.
|
|
Bette Midler
|
|
Because I am the star, you know.
|
|
Johnny Carson
|
|
That's right.
|
|
Ed McMahon
|
|
Of course.
|
|
Bette Midler
|
|
Yes, however, I will sing the line, the note,
and you will come in at the end of the note, okay?
|
|
Johnny Carson
|
|
Doing what?
|
|
Bette Midler
|
|
Just . . . just a crescendo.
|
|
Johnny Carson
|
|
Humm.
|
|
Ed McMahon
|
|
Oh.
|
|
Bette Midler
|
|
A nice big crescendo. He has to be so
specific, my dear. Alright, here we go, are we all ready? Are
we all together? Lets get into a straight line please, get
organized, start on your right foot. Mmmm, Big Eyed Betty and the
Bang Bangs!
|
|
Everyone
|
|
Teenager In Love
(Doc Pomus, Mort
Shuman)
Oooo-Wooo-Wahha-Ooooo Whop Whop Whop
Oooo-Wooo-Wahha-Ooooo Whop Whop Whop
|
|
Bette Midler
|
|
Each night we have a quarrel
It almost breaks my heart
For I am so afraid
One day we will have to part
Each night I ask the stars up above
|
|
Everyone
|
|
Why must I be a teenager in love?
|
|
Bette Midler
|
|
One day I feel so happy
The next day I'm feeling sad
Well I guess I'll learn to take
The good with the bad
Each night I ask the stars up above
|
|
Everyone
|
|
Why must I be a teenager in love?
|
|
Bette Midler
|
|
I cried a tear
For nobody but you
I'd be a lonely one
If you should say we're through
Well, if you want to make me cry
That won't be so hard to do, baby
And if you should say goodbye
I'd still go on loving you
Each night I ask the stars up above
|
|
Everyone
|
|
Why must I be a teenager in love?
Oooo-Wooo-Wahha-Ooooo Whop Whop Whop
Oooo-Wooo-Wahha-Ooooo Whop Whop Whop
Oooo-Wooo-Wahha-Ooooo Whop Whop Whop
|
|
Bette Midler
|
|
Okay, this is the last note folks, I'm gonna
take it. Oh my nerves. Sometimes I wonder if it's worth
it. The lead singer, who had the highest voice in the whole world,
always took the last note. He would go . . . [Bette sings last
note] [Guys come in with crescendo]
|
|
Johnny Carson
|
|
Alright! Betty and the Bang Bangs!
|
|
Bette Midler
|
|
Oh, Betty and the Bang Bangs!
|
|
Johnny Carson
|
|
Oooo-Wooo-Woooow Wow Whop
|
|
Bette Midler
|
|
Thanks gentlemen!
|
|
Johnny Carson
|
|
That's exactly the way they
sounded.
|
|
Bette Midler
|
|
Thank you. Yes.
|
|
Johnny Carson
|
|
They always had that little single mic.
|
|
Bette Midler
|
|
Thank you, that was so nice.
|
|
Ed McMahon
|
|
I'll be humming that melody for years.
|
|
Bette Midler
|
|
[laughs]
|
|
Johnny Carson
|
|
Yes, that'll go on your golden oldies.
|
|
Ed McMahon
|
|
Yes.
|
|
Bette Midler
|
|
Oh, I enjoyed that. I really enjoyed
that.
|
|
Johnny Carson
|
|
You like that kind of stuff, huh?
|
|
Bette Midler
|
|
Yes I did.
|
|
Johnny Carson
|
|
Alright.
|
The
Amazing Kreskin was also a guest on this episode. During Kreskin's act, which directly followed Bette
Midler's, he performed a demonstration of the Power Of Suggestion. The network didn't want Kreskin to perform this as they felt it was too risky for possible injuries. However, Carson trusted Kreskin and wanted him to do it! Doc Severson and Ed McMahon assisted Johnny Carson to lay across two chairs. Carson's head was on one chair and his feet on the other, while his body remained stiff and levitated. Kreskin then had Bette Midler come out and sit on Carson's stomach. Obviously Bette trusted Kreskin
as well. Not only was no one
harmed during this demonstration, but Carson would later say that Bette felt like there was just a little baby sitting on
him. (The photo to the right shows Kreskin placing Bette on Carson's stomach.) 
