Bette Midler - Bette on the Boards

The Harlettes 0		Optimistic Voices / Lullaby Of Broadway (E.Y. Harburg, Harold Arlen, Herbert Stothart / Al Dubin, Harry Warren) You're out of the woods, you're out of the dark, you're out of the night. Step into the sun, step into the light, and open your eyes and let them open, ahhh, open, ahhh, open, open, open, open up. Come on along and listen to the lullaby of Broadway. The hip-hooray and balley-hoo. the lullaby of Broadway. The rumble of the subway train. The rattle of the taxi. The Daffodils who entertain at Angelo's and Maxi's. When a Broadway baby says goodnight, it's early in the morning. Manhattan babys don't sleep tight until the dawn. Good night, baby. Good night. Milkman's on his way. Doon, doon, doon. Sleep tight, baby. Sleep tight. Let's call it a day. Hey!
Bette Midler		Come on along and listen to the lullaby of Broadway. The hi-de-hi and boop-boop-buh-doo. It's just the lullaby of Broadway. The band begins to go to town and everyone goes crazy. You rock-a-bye your baby 'round 'til everything gets hazy. Hush-a-bye, I'm gonna buy you this and that, you hear your daddy saying. Then baby goes home to her flat to sleep all day. Good night, baby. Good night. The milkman's on his way. Do, do, do, doodley-do. Sleep tight,oh, my baby. You got to sleep tight. Let's call it a day. Listen to the lullaby of ol-bo-ba-bo-ba-b'old doo doo doo Broadway! Come along and listen to The lullaby of Broadway! Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy (Don Raye, Hughie Prince) He was a famous trumpet man from out Chicago way. He had a boogie style that no one else could play. He was the top man at his craft, but then his number came up and he was gone with the draft. He's in the army now. He's blowin' reveille. He's the boogie woogie bugle boy of company B. They made him blow a bugle for his Uncle Sam. It really brought him down because he could not jam. The captain seemed to understand, because the next day the cap' went out and drafted the band. And now the company jumps when he plays reveille. He's the boogie woogie bugle boy of company B. A root, a toot, a toodlie-a-da-toot. He blows it eight to the bar in boogie rhythm. He can't blow a note unless a bass and guitar is playin' with him. And the company jumps when he plays reveille. He's the boogie woogie bugle boy of company B. He was some boogie woogie bugle boy of company B . . . yeow And when he played his boogie woogie bugle he was busy as a busy bee. And when he played he made the company jump eight to the bar. He's the boogie woogie bugle boy of company B. Andata toodliata-toodliata toot toot he blows it eight to the bar. He can't blow a note if a bass and guitar isn't with him. Oh with him. And the company jumps when he plays reveille. He's the boogie woogie bugle boy of company B. He puts the boys to sleep with boogie every night, and wakes 'em up the same way in the early bright. They clap their hands and stamp their feet, 'cause they know how it goes when someone gives him a beat. Woah, woah, he wakes 'em up when he plays reveille. The boogie woogie bugle boy of company B. A root, a toot, a toodli-a-da to toot toot toot he's blowin' eight to the bar. Yeah, he can't blow a note if a bass and guitar isn't, woah, with him. And the company jumps when he plays reveille. He's the boogie woogie bugle boy of company B.
Johnny Carson		How ya doing?
Bette Midler		How are you? Long time no see.
Johnny Carson		Well it's good to see, nice to see you're the sweet unspoiled natural charmer that you always were.
Bette Midler		Same as ever. Same Trash.
Johnny Carson		The last of the great trash. We'll take a break.
		COMMERCIAL
Johnny Carson		We're back. We're talking with Bette Midler. We haven't seen you for a long time.
Bette Midler		No. Year, I think.
Johnny Carson		Yeah?
Bette Midler		A year, yeah.
Johnny Carson		How long ago was it the first time you were on the show?
Bette Midler		I guess it was about two and a half years ago.
Johnny Carson		Now it doesn't seem that long, I don't know why.
Bette Midler		No, it doesn't. It's been so fast, you know, it's all gone by so fast. Remember you and I in Vegas? Remember that?
Johnny Carson		Sure.
Bette Midler		That was a scream, a scream! What a double bill.
Johnny Carson		I asked Bette to join me a year ago in Las Vegas, or a year and a half ago up there. I remember you coming back and saying . . . you almost panicked before a show. You know that you just, were a little uncertain.
Bette Midler		Yeah. Very uncertain.
Johnny Carson		How do you feel now?
Bette Midler		Well, I'm much better. I'm much more relaxed about it, you know. I look forward to a good time. I mean those Vegas audiences, you don't know if they're going to throw nickels and dimes at you or what. But I've been doing it for a long time now, pretty steadily and it gets better I think. I've been having a great time.
Johnny Carson		Well it's been a sensational year. Now the news, they're taking pictures here tonight, because Newsweek is doing a big story on you.
Bette Midler		Well copies . . . it must be real thin out there if they have to come over here, well, I don't mind. I just pose, you know, take my picture.
Johnny Carson		Do they ask you a lot of personal questions? Do they ask you questions you don't like?
Bette Midler		They always ask me how old I am and I never say.
Johnny Carson		But why?
Bette Midler		I don't know why, I guess they want to think I'm over the hill, before I'm over the hill.
Johnny Carson		I don't know how old you are, I've never asked you.
Bette Midler		I'm 27.
Johnny Carson		Well, that's hardly over the hill.
Bette Midler		Hardly, hardly over the hill. Hardly.
Johnny Carson		Hardly over the hill. Your good years are all ahead of you.
Bette Midler		You think so?
Johnny Carson		That's what they always say.
Bette Midler		Do you get hot after 27?
Johnny Carson		Ahh, I always did. Frequently once in a while a little flash comes upon me, brings back fond memories, certainly.
Bette Midler		Still, even these days John, you don't mean it.
Johnny Carson		Uh ah, yes. So your life changed a lot.
Bette Midler		I must tell you, I must tell you. When we were in Vegas, I had this friend of mine down from San Francisco to dress me, you know, to put odd strange clothes on me . . .
Johnny Carson		And you were wearing strange clothes.
Bette Midler		Oh, well, they weren't that strange. But every night, after I would come off the stage, he would come on the stage and he would say, "when Emmet Kelly dies, that girl is going to come into a fabulous wardrobe." And a girl who was down from San Francisco use to stand there giving the stink eye, she use to go, "Ahauu Ahauu."
Johnny Carson		I remember a couple of times you walked out and you . . . you have toned down a little bit, you gotta admit now Bette.
Bette Midler		Well, for your show I always tone down. They made my girls put rosettes in their tuxedos.
Johnny Carson		I noticed.
Bette Midler		We were going to show you a little skin tonight, ya know, and they said, "nope, no skin on the Tonight Show."
Johnny Carson		We're not ready for that yet.
Bette Midler		And those girls are hot, too.
Johnny Carson		Are they really?
Bette Midler		They are hot girls.
Johnny Carson		What do you call that group?
Bette Midler		Those girls are called The Harlettes.
Johnny Carson		The Harlettes?
Bette Midler		The Har-lettes. Dirty girls. Three ex-cocktail waitresses from Encino, California.
Johnny Carson		Where, where'd you find them?
Bette Midler		Well, actually, I found them in New York. Ahh . . . oh - reacting to one guy in the audience clapping loud - nice to see you. Ahh, I had this, I called up all my friends who sing.
Johnny Carson		Right.
Bette Midler		And I had them all down one afternoon and we sang together and I wanted to pick some people that I would really get along with real well, so I found those three girls and they are terrific.
Johnny Carson		Yeah, they sound swell.
Bette Midler		Yeah, they strut and they carry on.
Johnny Carson		You know the number you did, you almost single handedly brought back the revival of the Andrews Sisters record.
Bette Midler		I met them.
Johnny Carson		Oh, did you finally met them?
Bette Midler		Yeah, I met them yesterday. What a thrill.
Johnny Carson		There are only two, one of them passed away.
Bette Midler		Yeah, Laverne.
Johnny Carson		Yeah and they'd never seen you, I hear.
Bette Midler		No. They were quite taken aback, I think. So I said to them, "listen, you got any other tunes?"
Johnny Carson		That you're not using.
Bette Midler		They're going to reissue them. I told them, I said, "girls, girls, get back on the boards, America is dieing. You can bring us back to life." They sing real good, even though there are only two of them, they still sing brilliantly together.
Johnny Carson		Yeah, they're real pros.
Bette Midler		Yeah, they sure are.
Johnny Carson		I mentioned that your record, The Divine Miss M . . . you don't use that title much anymore.
Bette Midler		Well, well you know the divine, it's like a little on the schizophrenic side, you know, and I've been The Divine Miss M for just years and years now, three or four . . . and uh, I love being divine, except at some times The Divine Miss M, she gets very carried away and she gets real paranoid, you know, and when she gets paranoid then she starts to hurt Bette Midler, you know . . . so I had to kill her. Yeah, I didn't know who I should kill, Bette Midler or The Divine Miss M, but I finally decided Miss M was a little on the unnatural side, you know. She still comes out every now and again when I really feel good.
Johnny Carson		Has all this success, and it has been success . . .
Bette Midler		You know, I don't pay any attention to it. I still, I mean, oh really, why bother. It's a . . . I'm still schlepping, you know, I mean still, it doesn't make any difference to me, I still ride the train, you know, I still ride the subways and I still carry . . . I go out on the street with no make up on, you know, and they just go, "pfft," at me. And they leave me alone, you know, I don't wear my hair out, you know, I just put a hat on.
Johnny Carson		It's natural and that's it.
Bette Midler		Well what's the point, you know, if all these people run after you then you don't have any time to think who you are, you know.
Johnny Carson		Yeah. Do you know who you are now?
Bette Midler		I'm getting so much better than I use to be. Really. I use to be real ill. I did. You know, everyone's ill though . . . you know how many billions gains of sand there are in the world, you know they're all different, and that's how many people there are in the world, and they're all different too . . . and everybody has that strangeness about them, you know. Sometimes they don't know whether they're coming or going, you know. I just happen to be visible, but they're all sick, same as me, you know, and I know how you feel, you know . . . I think, I think that's why they like me.
Johnny Carson		Do you ever feel sometimes, that now you're well known, you don't know whether people are really being friendly because they like you, or because you now happen to have some stature as a performer.
Bette Midler		Ahhhhh, it is bizarre, so bizarre . . . especially right here on this show. People use to spit at me when I use to come to this show, dragging my wedgies. Oh, it was . . . no, it's nice, it's like . . . I got a glass of wine today.
Johnny Carson		Yeah?
Bette Midler		When I was having my make up on.
Johnny Carson		Really?
Bette Midler		I couldn't get a glass of water from those people last year.
Johnny Carson		You never asked that you wanted wine. Has it made any difference now, financially everybody says, "hey, she's making a lot of money now." Does that change anything at all? Have you bought anything?
Bette Midler		Well you know there a . . . I don't know, you gotta be real careful about money these days, you know.
Johnny Carson		Yeah.
Bette Midler		So I don't spend it. Because I have the feeling that, you know, my parents brought me up that way, you should always put something aside for a rainy day, because the next rainy day is going to be . . . a deluge. Honey, the next one, we're all going under. And I'm a little nervous about that, you know, so I just put it away. Cause, what can it buy you, really? I don't drive, you know, I don't drive and I have sort of a shabby house. And it's better that you're shabby, then the junkies don't take in on you and take everything. You know?
Johnny Carson		I guess that's one way to look at it, yes.
Bette Midler		It's a good way to look at it. If you spend it, they know who you are and they're going to come after you and take it away.
Johnny Carson		Yeah. So you put a little aside.
Bette Midler		Yeah. I don't like to flash it around, you know. A lot of people are . . . starving. And I just like to be like people, you know, I like to go to the hotdog stand and I like to go to the drive in movies and stuff like that.
Johnny Carson		I bet all money really gives you anyway is a freedom, a little independence, you know.
Bette Midler		[Reacting to the audience laughing at her scratching her ankle] From the Continental Hydehouse. A little something I picked up there.
Johnny Carson		A little itch there.
Bette Midler		A little something.
Johnny Carson		I guess we'll probably be hearing from the Continental Hydehouse tonight.
Bette Midler		I hope so.
Johnny Carson		I would imagine.
Bette Midler		Oh, the Continental, they don't care, they love it. They got some crazies up there.
Johnny Carson		Really?
Bette Midler		Mercy me. Mercy me. I'm scared to go.
Johnny Carson		You're staying there?
Bette Midler		No, but my band is staying there, you know, and you know groupies, excreta.
Johnny Carson		Yeah.
Bette Midler		So exciting.
Johnny Carson		How was your opening last night? I understand it was a smash. I read the reviews were incredible.
Bette Midler		You know, I am NOT an outdoor act. This is NOT an outdoor act. It's strictly indoors, honey. But I, I don't know, it's kind of nice. I like working L.A., you know, because all the freaks come out. You know, and they get so excited, another freak is going to be on the stage. You know, they can dress up, they can dance and carry on. It's really a nice trip for them, so I enjoy playing it to them. I get over here and I get so outrageous, it's really terrible. I was under the piano last night, for half the show, I don't know why, I just thought "oh, I think I'll go there," you know.
Johnny Carson		Some form of insecurity I would guess.
Bette Midler		Ramona-Paranoia!
Johnny Carson		Yeah.
Bette Midler		I don't know.
Johnny Carson		You don't go to an analyst or anything like that, do ya?
Bette Midler		No, I went for a year once and he didn't look at me the whole time. I didn't get it.
Johnny Carson		That certainty doesn't built up your self confidence.
Bette Midler		No, it sure didn't. I had to leave.
Johnny Carson		Yeah. Okay, we're going to take a break, but we're going to come back and do whatever you feel like doing.
Bette Midler		Well . . . Ed, how ya doing?
Johnny Carson		Stay here, we'll be back after a short break.
		COMMERCIAL
Johnny Carson		We're back now.
Bette Midler		We sure are.
Johnny Carson		Yeah.
Bette Midler		I can't believe it, I got some of those people to smile out there. God, show those teeth.
Johnny Carson		Why wouldn't they smile?
Bette Midler		Show those teeth. I don't know, they're going like, "hmm hmm."
Johnny Carson		They like you, they like you.
Bette Midler		I don't get it.
Johnny Carson		You went back . . .
Bette Midler		That's why you don't get it, cause you don't get it. Ahhh, oh, she's getting vicious in her old age.
Johnny Carson		No you're not.
Bette Midler		You're right!
Johnny Carson		You went back and played Honolulu, didn't you?
Bette Midler		Oh, it was fabulous!
Johnny Carson		And you're from Honolulu, that's your hometown, Honolulu.
Bette Midler		My home town, can you believe it. It was, it was remarkable.
Johnny Carson		Last time you were there, you were picking pineapples you said at one time.
Bette Midler		No no, putting them in cans.
Johnny Carson		Putting them in cans, excuse me.
Bette Midler		There's a great difference. Yeah, I was working the pineapple cannery there. It was a remarkable adventure returning home.
Johnny Carson		Yeah.
Bette Midler		It was so nice to me and I had a great time, you know, cause I was doing all this local material, you know, Hawaiian material, I was doing a little pitchinenglish and I was doing a little . . . digging the big Hawaiian entertainers. It was fun, I had a good time.
Johnny Carson		Your parents were there.
Bette Midler		No!
Johnny Carson		Oh really?
Bette Midler		No. One parent was there. My mother came but my father, he just said, "oh, I just can't." He could not deal with it. He's read some things about me, you know, and he's very consultative, he likes Laurence Welk, you know. He doesn't like too much cleavage, in fact, every time I went over there to dinner he made me safety pin my dress together.
Johnny Carson		Really?
Bette Midler		Absolutely.
Johnny Carson		Well I guess father never change, he's just being a little protective.
Bette Midler		Yes, I guess so, I guess so. I was glad my mother got a chance though, she didn't sit still all night, she was screaming, "fabulous!! fabulous!"
Johnny Carson		That's great, that's gotta make you feel good.
Bette Midler		Oh, yes! Yeah, it was remarkable.
Johnny Carson		Cause you always wanted to get that . . . you know.
Bette Midler		Well, you know, it's a funny thing about home. You know, I use to have a lot of trouble when I was living there, you know. [Bette is picking off some dust from Johnny's shoulder] I'm sorry John, looks like it didn't do it to you this time. Uh, I use to have a lot of trouble there, you know, cause I was a Jewish girl growing up in a Samoan neighborhood, you know. And they were not crazy for me. I use to try and get out and to a little tu-fut-air, you know and they didn't care for it and so I left, you know. I always, you know the story about, "oh, I'll show them."
Johnny Carson		Right.
Bette Midler		You know, it really was the truth, I really felt that way and I had a lot of anger built up in me from those years that I spent there. I'm being very honest, I'm not going to lie to you. But you find when you like yourself, then it doesn't matter.
Johnny Carson		Anger is kind of a waste of an emotion.
Bette Midler		It goes away. It goes away and after that its just joy and that's the way it is for me now.
Johnny Carson		It takes a lot more out of you to be angry at somebody.
Bette Midler		I'm so happy, I'm so happy . . . oh it's so tacky, isn't it tacky Ed?
Ed McMahon		It's not tacky, it's great. I hope you're happy.
Bette Midler		Well, I am happy.
Johnny Carson		Look, I know you have to go.
Bette Midler		Yeah, but I'm gonna sign a ballad.
Johnny Carson		She's gonna do a ballad.
Bette Midler		I'm going to sing a little song, a little torch song for you and I hope you like it.
Johnny Carson		Well I know we will.
Bette Midler		Drinking Again (Doris Tauber, Johnny Mercer) Hello boys Drinking again. Thinking of when you loved me. Having a few. And I'm wishing that you were here. Making the rounds. Buying a round for total strangers. Just being a fool, 'cause I keep hoping, hoping, hoping you'll appear. Sure I can borrow a smoke. I can sit here all night and tell these jokers some jokes, but who's going to laugh, who's going to laugh at a broken heart? Oh, my heart is aching, I swear it's breaking. And I'm drinking again. Thinking of when you loved me. And I'm trying to get home with nothing but a memory. Yeah, I'm trying to get home, dying to get home, with just my memory.