Bette Midler - Bette on the Boards - The Mike Douglas Show

Bette Midler		Ten Cents A Dance (Lorenz Hart, Richard Rodgers) I work at the Palace Ballroom, but, gee that Palace is cheap; when I get back to my chilly hall room I'm much to tired to sleep. I'm one of those lady teachers, a beautiful hostess, you know, the kind the Palace features at exactly a dime a throw. Ten cents a dance that's what they pay me, gosh, how they weigh me down! Ten cents a dance pansies and rough guys tough guys who tear my gown! Seven to midnight I hear drums. Loudly the saxophone blows. Trumpets are breaking my eardrums. Customers crush my toes. Sometimes I think I've found my hero, but it's a queer romance. All that you need is a ticket Come on, big boy, ten cents a dance. Fighters and sailors and bowlegged tailors all pay for a ticket and rent me! Butchers and barbers and rats from the harbors are sweethearts my good luck has sent me. Though I've a chorus of elderly beaux, my stockings are porous with holes at the toes. I'm here till closing time. Dance and be merry, it's only a dime. Sometimes I think I've found my hero, but it's a queer romance. All that you need is a ticket Come on, big boy, ten cents a dance.
Mike Douglas		I think that was a television first. How are you?
Bette Midler		Exhausted. I worked 30 years on that song.
Mike Douglas		How come someone as young as you would even know about a song like that? What kind of research do you do?
Bette Midler		Oh I do a lot of research. When I first started singing, I decided I wanted to bring back torch singing. The same kind of singing that Helen Morgan use to do and Billy Holiday and Lilliy Hollman. I was fascinated by the mystique, you know, the sorrowful woman crying her heart out over a glass of brandy and a piano. I was fascinated by it, so I started looking up old songs that these ladies had done.
Mike Douglas		And recordings? Listening to the recordings?
Bette Midler		Yeah, oh yeah. I listened to the Ettings recording of that song, she has a high pretty little voice, and sounds sort of tinny, and it's a wonderful quality.
Mike Douglas		Well I think that's part of the recording equipment they use.
Bette Midler		Yeah, that's true. But I liked it, I like it, it has a very sad sort of quality to it.
Mike Douglas		You don't appear to be the type of person who would be singing sad, you don't look like you've suffered enough.
Bette Midler		Oh, well that's very kind of you, I guess it doesn't show in my face. Ahh. It sure shows somewhere, I don't know where. Sure I've suffered, everybody's suffered. Look at Arte Johnson, he's suffered.
Arte Johnson		I haven't suffered.
Bette Midler		No?
Arte Johnson		I had it good all the time.
Bette Midler		All the time?
Arte Johnson		My whole life has been one long happy marshmallow.
Bette Midler		You know I'm very fond of you.
Arte Johnson		I've fond of you too. But don't let the whole world know about it.
Bette Midler		Aww you're so sweet. I never saw you before, but you're one of my hero's.
Arte Johnson		Well you're become one of mine. Anybody who can dig out those songs can't be all that bad.
Bette Midler		Thank you.
Arte Johnson		I'm serious, because I happen to like those songs. Mike use to sing those in his early night club act.
Mike Douglas		And I'm going to bring it back!
Bette Midler		They're all bringing it back, nostalgia is very heavy. I've been doing it for a long time now, ya know. Fascinating thing nostalgia.
Mike Douglas		What kind of audience do you get the best response from when you sing a song like that? Middle-aged audience?
Bette Midler		Well, no. That's what's so funny you see, the reason I sing these songs is not for the people who know them - believe it or not ladies and gentleman - it's for people who have never heard them. And a lot of kids, like under 30 people have never heard these songs. Like when you mention "Ten Cents A Dance" to them they have no idea, they've never heard it, they have no concept of what it means. When you do it for them they go, "oh wow . . . heavy!" But I enjoy that.
Arte Johnson		A heavy song?
Bette Midler		It's heavy, yes, heavy.
Mike Douglas		Are you a New York girl?
Bette Midler		No I'm not. I'm from Honolulu, Hawaii.
Arte Johnson		Oh really?
Bette Midler		Yes.
Mike Douglas		I've never met anyone from Honolulu or Hawaii . . . I've never met anyone from Shiang Wyoming either. I don't think there is a Shiang.
Bette Midler		Well there mightn't be a Shiang, but there certainly is a Honolulu.
Mike Douglas		Oh it's beautiful there.
Bette Midler		Well it use to be.
Mike Douglas		We're seen there too, by the way.
Bette Midler		Oh yeah? Oh I got to write my mom. Hello ma! I never got a chance to tell her.
Mike Douglas		Is your mother over there?
Bette Midler		Yes, and my daddy too. I never got a chance to say hello on a network television show, she will like that.
Mike Douglas		What does your father do?
Bette Midler		My father is retired now, he was a house painter, with the civil service. He'd been made head house painter before he retired, but he's retired now.
Mike Douglas		Do you go back to see them?
Bette Midler		No, I was only back once in five years, and I was so distracted, so upset when I saw the place after four years, being away four years. I don't really have the heart to go back.
Mike Douglas		Why, why were you disturbed?
Bette Midler		Well the island I lived on is the main island . . .
Mike Douglas		Ohau?
Bette Midler		Ohau . . . and they just built the thing up. I mean, I went away and came back and there were high-rises and tall buildings obscuring the countryside and it's very upsetting you know, especially if you grew up there and it was incredibly beautiful. I don't know, it's a touchy subject.
Mike Douglas		Do you try to look like what you're singing about?
Bette Midler		Oh yes.
Mike Douglas		Is that why you wear the heavy eye shadow?
Bette Midler		Yeah, and no eyebrows. You should see me with no makeup, I'm a disaster area, I really am. I terrify people. I walk down the street with no makeup and they just cant . . .
Arte Johnson		Maybe Hawaii's glad you're not coming back.
Bette Midler		Maybe. This one gentleman said to me last night, "darling, when did you get rid of your eyebrows?" And so I told him he said, "well when are you going to grow them back?" and I was like, well I'm not planning on it, and he said, "well I think you ought too." It freaks a lot of people out.
Arte Johnson		Really?
Bette Midler		Yeah . . .
Mike Douglas		Did you pluck them or shave them?
Bette Midler		I shaved them
Arte Johnson		What kind of a razor did you use . . . a straight razor or a safety razor?
Bette Midler		Shick, I used a Shick.
Mike Douglas		By the way, your name is spelt B.E.T.T.E and you call yourself Bet, and Bette Davis calls herself Betty
Bette Midler		Yeah, but my mother didn't know that, you see. She thought it was Bet, she named me after her. And she thought it was Bet, and she's been very upset for the past few years since Bette Davis has come out and said, "no, it's Betty, it's Betty," or whatever.
Arte Johnson		So the first movies you saw in Hawaii had subtitles?
Bette Midler		No, my mother just thought it was Bet! She didn't read right.
Mike Douglas		When you left Hawaii your mother lost a bet. We'd like to have you sing another song for us. Tell us, what is it going to be?
Bette Midler		Well darling, you see I'm in my 50's period now, you caught me in the 50's. I was in the 20's and 30's for many moons, but I've gradually graduated to the 50's.
Mike Douglas		What's it called?
Bette Midler		The song's called Great Balls Of Fire
Mike Douglas		Oh by Jerry Lee Lewis?
Bette Midler		Yes.
Mike Douglas		We'll see it right after this message, we'll be right back.
Bette Midler		Great Balls Of Fire (Otis Blackwell, Jack Hammer) "Ladies and gentleman, before I sing this song, I would like to say just a few words about it. Uh, there were many heavy love songs written in the 1950's. Important significant lyrics like, "how much is that doggy in the window," and "who's got the dingdong, who's got the bell." Many heavy love songs, but of all those love songs, I consider this to be truly the heaviest love song of them all." One, Two, One, Two, Three Four You shake my nerves and you rattle my brain Too much love drives a woman insane You broke my will, oh what a thrill Goodness gracious great balls of fire I laughed at love 'cause I thought it was funny You came along and you moved me honey I changed my mind, your love is fine Goodness gracious great balls of fire You kissed me baby, whoa, doesn't that feel good? Hold me baby, yeah, I wanna learn like a lover should Your fine, so kind I have to tell the world your mine oh mine oh I chew my nails and I twiddle my thumbs, yes I'm really nervous but it sure is fun Oh baby, you're driving me crazy Goodness gracious great balls of fire "Oh lets hear it for Frankie Avalon, Annette Funicello, for the Dick Clark show when it came to you from Philly!" Yeahhhhhhhh!!! You shake my nerves and you rattle my brain Too much love drives a woman insane You broke my will, oh what a thrill Goodness gracious great balls of fire I laughed at love 'cause I thought it was funny You came along and you moved me honey I changed my mind, your love is fine Goodness gracious great balls of fire Kiss me, why don't you kiss me baby Oh, you feel so good. Hold me, why don't you hold me baby Ahhhhhhhh!!!! Hey your fine, and you're really so kind I've got to tell the world your mine oh mine oh I chew my nails and I twiddle my thumbs, yeah I'm awful nervous but it sure is fun Oh baby, you're driving me crazy Goodness gracious great balls of fire Goodness gracious great balls of fire Goodness gracious . . . great balls of fire!